We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
