my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
