I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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