loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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