My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
