Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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