I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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