if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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