that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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