All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize