Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
