Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
