you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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