I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize