I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
