i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
