how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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