The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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