Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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