Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
