do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He felt like a one man threesome
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
