I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
