no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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