you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
