Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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