I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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