I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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