So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
