I'm so fucking centered right now
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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