Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
