It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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