At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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