How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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