Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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