She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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