If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
