At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize