You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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