omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
