the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
