ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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