i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
