I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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