is your mom at the bar?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
