I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize