why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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