i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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