Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
