He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
