It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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