I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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