Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
