Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
