You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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