If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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