My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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