I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
