Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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