I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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