So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
